BREAKAWAY...

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get on board a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away
And breakaway

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

3 Years..

Wow 3 years have past since I have been with S. Its been a bumpy road but we keep on truckin. I had a horrible Saturday but was surprised with a big bouquet of beautiful flowers Sunday night by S. It was so awesome to see him standing there in the doorway holding on to these flowers! Especially cuz my 2 favs were included in the bunch..daisies and lillies!!

We spent the day by stoppin at Timmies grabbin a coffee and then headed to the park where it all began and enjoyed each others company by walking around holding hands watching the ducks and squirrels.  It was a really wonderful day that turned into an even better evening of competing against each other playing NHL 11 on XBOX...(of course I lost but hey it was still really fun) followed by Monday Night Raw! I couldnt have thought of a better way to celebrate three yrs together than that!

Clean up Time!

Yay! Finally a full weekend off..I cant wait to relax and clean up the house that I have been neglecting. Apparently my non existed maid took a leave of absence..which really sucks!!

So I have decided that maybe I should just do it myself..of course I will have my helpers (children) put to work as well..haha

Then as a reward I think I will take the girls swimming on Sunday :)

I am definitely looking forward to Sunday night as S will be here and is apparently bringing me flowers as Monday is our 3 year anniversary..so that will be interesting to see what he picks out or picks out of someone else's garden..lol

Other than that I had to do some damage control this morn at the girls school...some kid on the bus thinks it's ok to bully girls..like really? So ya thankfully the principal is an awesome lady who doesnt take crap from no one!

I am also pleased to say that work is goin well and more training to better my position there is coming up fast and then on to a one month evaluation...wow how time flies! Well of to do some facebooking then sleep time, I think! Will post a pic of the bouquet I get!

Beside You...

When your tears are spent on your last pretense
And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense
When it's in your spine like you've walked for miles
And the only thing you want is just to be still for a while

If your heart wears thin I will hold you up
And I will hide you when it gets too much
I'll be right beside you
I'll be right beside you

When you're overwhelmed and you've lost your breath
When the space between the things you know is blurry nonetheless
When you try to speak but you make no sound
And the words you want are out of reach but they've never been so loud

If your heart wears thin I will hold you up
And I will hide you when it gets too much
I'll be right beside you
I'll be right beside you

I will stay
Nobody will break you

Trust in me, trust in me
Don't pull away
Just trust in me, trust in me
Cause I'm just trying to keep this together
Cause I could do worse and you could do better

Tears are spent on your last pretense
And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense

If your heart wears thin I will hold you up
And I will hide you when
Nobody will break you it gets too much
I'll be right beside you

Really? Really..REALLY!!

How many times does a person have to go through heartache before they get the chance to be happy? I am not sure if there is happiness at the end of the rainbow and let me tell ya that rainbow seems sooo far away. It's funny cuz I am usually the one who is the shoulder to cry on or the shoulder to lean on. I am the advice giver, the counselor, the best friend...I dunno I feel like now I am the one who needs someone to be all those things for me. I made a big decision in moving here and sacrificed everything for a chance at a new life..a chance at happiness. Do I really deserve that kind of happiness that doesnt come with ultimatums or good behavior rewards or having to beg and plead for affection? I think so! I know I have found it and that is why I am here! So why is it that the person who makes me sooo happy and has a heart of gold, has all the affection I need and at the end of the day is my best friend..seems to be on a different page at times? What does one do? I feel like giving up most of the time but then at the end of day I am still truckin along. Giving up is definitely NOT the answer!! I need to pick up my heart, take it one day at a time and keep my head held high, but of course that is easier said than done. Its hard cuz as much as waiting for the night of cuddling on the couch and having an adult conversation about how work was or the WWE wrestler that got fired for stupidity is absolutely AMAZING...is it enough? That is the question I keep asking myself..and the answer I always come to is YES for now I can deal with that! So as this post comes to an end...

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning."

Here...

There’s a place I’ve been lookin’ for that took me in and out of buildings

Behind windows, walls and doors

And I thought I found it couple times, even settled down

And I’d hang around just long enough to find my way back out
I know now the place that I was trying to reach
Was you, right here in front of me.

And I wouldn’t change a thing, I’d walk right back through the rain

Back to every broken heart on the day that it was breakin’

And I’d relive all the years and be thankful for the tears

I’ve cried with every stumbled step that led to you and got me here, right here.

It’s amazing what I let my heart go through to get me where it got me

In this moment here with you.
And it passed me by.. God knows how many times
I was so caught up in holding what I never thought I’d find

I know now, there’s a million roads I had to take

To get me in your arms that way..