Winner at a Losing Game...: Really? Really..REALLY!!

How many times does a person have to go through heartache before they get the chance to be happy? I am not sure if there is happiness at the end of the rainbow and let me tell ya that rainbow seems sooo far away. It's funny cuz I am usually the one who is the shoulder to cry on or the shoulder to lean on. I am the advice giver, the counselor, the best friend...I dunno I feel like now I am the one who needs someone to be all those things for me. I made a big decision in moving here and sacrificed everything for a chance at a new life..a chance at happiness. Do I really deserve that kind of happiness that doesnt come with ultimatums or good behavior rewards or having to beg and plead for affection? I think so! I know I have found it and that is why I am here! So why is it that the person who makes me sooo happy and has a heart of gold, has all the affection I need and at the end of the day is my best friend..seems to be on a different page at times? What does one do? I feel like giving up most of the time but then at the end of day I am still truckin along. Giving up is definitely NOT the answer!! I need to pick up my heart, take it one day at a time and keep my head held high, but of course that is easier said than done. Its hard cuz as much as waiting for the night of cuddling on the couch and having an adult conversation about how work was or the WWE wrestler that got fired for stupidity is absolutely AMAZING...is it enough? That is the question I keep asking myself..and the answer I always come to is YES for now I can deal with that! So as this post comes to an end...